


Wither

by LittleRedFlowers



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Unrequited Love, im here to hurt you, unrequited love but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-08 10:51:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10384992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRedFlowers/pseuds/LittleRedFlowers
Summary: Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from unrequited love when your love and affections are not returned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Additional information: Jonquils are actually a hybrid species of Daffodils and they represent wanting affections to be returned (according to what I found). 
> 
> This is an un-beta work.
> 
> If any mistakes, please let me know!

_Hanahaki Disease_ is an illness born from unrequited love when your love and affections are not returned. The beginning signs of Hanahaki Disease include feeling an itch in the throat, the need to cough and feeling breathless. You’ll feel a growing discomfort in your lungs that never go away and soon enough, you’ll be coughing out petals of flowers that represent your feelings. The coughing of petals could become fully bloomed flowers, that feeling of discomfort continues to grow and spread inside you as the vines and the roots of the disease grows and clings onto your organs. Until one day, the vines of the disease, of your feelings wrap itself around your heart and clenches it so tight and your heart gives up completely.

While Hanahaki Disease is not incurable, only a few would choose to get rid of it. The three ways to be cured of it is 1. Having your feelings returned 2. Being able to move on completely and 3. Getting an operation to remove the flowers and subsequently, removing any feelings you have for that person.

* * *

 

The first time Akihito noticed an itchy feeling in his throat, he thought that he was coming down with a flu. That wouldn’t be surprising as it was flu season and everyone around seem to be falling sick. His first thought had been ‘I should get some Ginger tea prepared in case Asami falls sick’.

But as the weeks went by, that itchy feeling didn’t leave. Instead, he started coughing lightly and feeling this weird discomfort he never felt before in his lungs whenever he coughed. Still, he didn’t think much of it and went about doing his job and prepping food at home.

It wasn’t until three months later that Akihito coughed out his first petal. A single yellow petal lay on his tongue, a foreign feeling he didn’t know he would soon become familiar with. He carefully plucks the petal from his tongue, placing it in his palm. While petals don’t weigh much, the yellow petal felt so heavy, replicating the heaviness he feels in his heart.

He kept it a secret.

The next time he coughed, the petals no longer appeared one by one. Instead, it appeared as an entire bunch with salivate coating him as he coughs them into the basin. One hand on his throat while the other grip tightly against the edge of the basin. There were tears on his face as he kept his eyes firmly shut, denying the reality that comes with the flowers.

_Jonquil._

Bright yellow flowers, with a message begging for affections to be returned.

_Love me._

_Notice me._

The flowers began to appear more and more often. Each time would be worst than the last. Trying to hide it from Asami was near impossible, but Akihito didn’t want the older man to know about his feelings, especially since it’s one-sided. He didn’t want the older man to make fun of him and then throw him out. If he doesn’t much long to live, he would rather keep his feelings a secret and spend his remaining days closer to his lover. At this point, it didn’t matter to him that his feelings are unrequited.

Eventually, the disease took a toll on his day-to-day activities. Akihito could not run as fast as before, neither could he keep up with all the nightly activities that Asami like to engage him in. The flowers would threaten to spill out and he would constantly force it back down. Akihito vow to never let the older man know about it.

The accumulated petals would cause him to hunch over the toilet and vomit them all out, along with the contents in his stomach. Small bits of vines would scratch up his mouth, leaving the bright yellow petals to be stained with red.

_It hurts._

_It hurts_ so _bad._

If Asami had noticed how oddly Akihito had been behaving, how little he eats now or how his movements became slow and sluggish, he didn’t mention it and for that, Akihito was grateful. He knew he didn’t have much time left. He could feel it in his bones and in the way his heart hurts more and more each day.  Hence, to Akihito, any time left that he was able to spend with his lover is worth any pain he has to endure.

* * *

 

Nine months.

Nine months since the start of the disease. Akihito had been to stock up on homemade food at home. Should he die tonight, he wants to die knowing he did all he could to make things easier to Asami. He knew deep in his bones that he would not live pass this month and he wants to be fully prepared for it.

He had a picture album prepared. In it contains the memories he holds most precious to his heart. The album shows his feelings and puts it on display for all those that sees it.

Akihito also made sure to greet his lover every night, to be home and spend as much time as possible with him. He would try to get his body as close as possible to Asami and when it was time for bed, Akihito would reach out his hand to hold the older male’s hand or to clutch onto his shirt (if he was wearing one) and watch the rising and falling of his chest.

He would whisper “I love you” into the dark of the night and silently wished for the older man to say it back. To him, it was nothing was a dream that he knew would never happen. Each time he says it, the harder the vines would tug on his heart. It hurts as if there was someone squeezing it, and it hurts as if Asami had found out and threw him aside to die. But no matter how much it hurts, he would never get an operation to remove it because he would rather die knowing he loved Asami as much as a person could love than to not feel anything for the older man that became a significant part of his life.

* * *

 

The next night when Asami returned home, he came back to the body of Takaba Akihito, lying motionless in his bed and surrounded by bright yellow Jonquil flowers. A small smile playing on his lips while his face was tucked into the older man’s pillow. It looked like a scene from a fairy tale, as if he was a princess just sleeping and waiting for true love’s kiss.

But that isn’t the reality of this story.

Takaba Akihito died surrounded by the scent of his lover.

Takaba Akihito died surrounded by bright yellow flowers because while you live a life of unrequited love, painful and sad, in death these flowers signify that at the very least,

the love you had for the person was beautiful. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.”**

_ Anais Ni _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional information: according to Google, Freesia is used to represent several different things. I chose to use it to represent trust.
> 
> This is an un-beta work.
> 
> If there are any mistakes, please let me know!

Ever since young, Asami learnt that actions speak louder than words. His family members would show affections, care and love for each other through their actions and words like ‘I love you’ are hardly ever spoken.

The first time Asami got his heart broken, he coughed out white Freesia. He was devastated and in a total state of disbelief. At the young age of 15, he got played by an older woman, someone that made use of his trust and shattered his heart. And he learnt the hard way to not foolishly fall in love, to give your heart to someone else completely. Instead of cheering him up and encouraging him through words, his mother would make his favourite dishes for a week and she would look him in the eyes before pulling him close and hugging him tightly.

When times got especially rough for the Asami Household with his father’s sudden passing and his mother falling ill, instead of saying ‘it’ll be alright, we’ll make it through this’, Asami’s sister would grip onto his hand tightly. The weight of his sister’s hand serves as a reminder for him to be strong, a reminder that he isn’t alone.

With a family that regards actions higher than words, it is no surprise that the first time Asami showed his love to Akihito was through actions. That first time being the time he went to Hong Kong while injured to save his lover and the embrace witnessed by all that was on board.

Never in his entire life had he felt so afraid of losing someone and while they hadn’t known each other for a long time, the thought of not having Akihito in his life scares him tremendously. He held the younger male tightly in his arms. The closest thing he said to an actual confession at that moment was “don’t toss my heart around any more than this” and he had hope that Akihito understood what he meant.

Asami felt his life change when Akihito moved in with him. He would try his best to go home for dinner, or at least to have supper. He would make sure to be there to sleep in the same bed as his lover and have breakfast with him. Asami could see the concern and love put into every movement that Akihito makes. He could feel the love from the food, from the way Akihito would attempt to stay up to greet him at the door when he gets back.

He could only hope that Akihito is able to feel the same amount of love and concern through his actions too.

It wasn’t until about a year since Akihito moved in that Asami started to notice little details about him. He started noticing how Akihito would clear his throat and cough, he would notice how little he sleeps and how he’s always clutching his stomach.

He thought it was just a simple cold, so he had asked Kirishima to buy ginger tea and some cough drops. Asami left them on the dining table and didn’t think much about the trembles and the sweat that he would feel against his skin when lying in bed with Akihito.

* * *

 

Nine months have passed since Akihito started showing flu symptoms and even with all the medication and everything else that a sick person would need, he still hasn’t recovered. Asami was getting worried and had tasked Kirishima to find a doctor that can provide the much needed relief that Akihito needs.

_Hanahaki?_

The Hanahaki Disease wasn’t a foreign subject to him as he experienced it once. But for Akihito to be exhibiting signs for Hanahaki is just plain ridiculous, for who else but he was Akihito in love with? There had been no reports of Akihito meeting anyone new besides his usual clique of friends and colleagues and the only person that Akihito showed affections to was him. Asami showed his affections through his actions so the disease _couldn’t_ possibly be about _him_ … But it would explain the bright yellow petals that seemingly appeared from nowhere.

Shaking those thoughts aside, he continued on with his day, going home for dinner and sleeping in the same bed as his younger lover. With the new information about Akihito’s condition, he began to notice how slow and sluggish Akihito’s movements were, how the bags under his eyes seem darker than before and how Akihito’s already lean body seemed thinner than ever.

Asami didn’t know how to bring up the subject as Akihito continued to pretend that he was fine. He would love to confront the younger male but what would he say? Demand to know who Akihito was in love with? That would just scare him and cause him to flee.

So he kept quiet.

The night before what would become one of the worst days of his life, he felt Akihito snuggle comfortably against him, lips against his bared chest as he whispered the three words. The three words that Akihito only felt brave enough to say when he thought his lover was asleep. Suddenly, it all made sense. Akihito’s Hanahaki Disease was because of him. Because Akihito thought he doesn’t turn the feelings that the younger one shared. With that in mind, Asami made a mental note to put in more effort to show affections to Akihito.

But all this while, Asami was never asleep. His lips curled into a small smile as he waited for the younger male to fall asleep before pulling him closer. _He_ would then whisper a reply to the confession and kiss the top of Akihito’s head.

* * *

 

When Asami came home one night, he found all the lights off and the penthouse suspiciously quiet. Akihito was clearly home by how his shoes were by the front door and his bag was on the dining chair. But the penthouse was quiet and dark, something he wasn’t used to ever since Akihito came into his life.

“Akihito?”

He walked towards the bedroom and was greeted by a sight that would haunt him for a long time.

Takaba Akihito was found lying in bed, with bright yellow flowers surrounding him. A small smile playing on his lips while his face was tucked into the older man’s pillow. It looked like a scene from a fairy tale as if he was a princess just sleeping and waiting for true love’s kiss.

It would have made a pretty picture if it didn’t represent the reality that Asami was forced to accept.

He now had to live a life without the light that he depended on in his darkest time.

He now had to live without Akihito by his side.

He now realised that while actions speak louder than words, sometimes you just need to hear those words to affirm certain things.

Things like love.

 

 

 

 

**When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him.** **  
** _ Madeline Miller _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
